


Because Nothing Ever Ends

by kimchispaghetti (soondubu)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2019-09-25 17:10:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17125397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soondubu/pseuds/kimchispaghetti
Summary: Kyungsoo is just trying to get through life happy, healthy and safe. Baekhyun will be sure to see to that.





	Because Nothing Ever Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the 2014 round of LJ's sooenamoured for user parkbyun.

Kyungsoo's favorite nights were those particularly cold winter ones without a cloud in sight to cover up an inky sky full of stars. It had to be winter because people went to bed earlier, put out their lights earlier, and because it got darker earlier in the day so that he'd be able to spend more time watching. His mother always fussed the same way when he came back inside, lips and fingertips purple-blue. She would force a mug of tea on him that burned more because his hands were still so cold, but he would accepted it gratefully and take it into his bedroom. Then he would sit by his window, legs curled beneath him on the bed, and continue to stare up into that perfect sky and wish.

His father had always told him to wish on stars. Birthday cakes were fun, but the stars _listened_ because it was a star's duty to grant one wish in its life. They were picky, though, which was why people's wishes didn't come true nearly as often as they'd like them to. Once a star granted its wish, its life was over—and not even stars wanted to give into death so easily. Privately, Kyungsoo was glad of that, if for no other reason than a selfish desire to keep the sky full and twinkling forever.

Pulling his eyes away at last, he turned to his desk, and the drawer closest to him. Inside were dozens and dozens of long strips of colorful paper. He took out three and laid them on the desk before sliding off his bed to sit at it. His tea sat by while he began to fold, each crease meticulously made. This was therapeutic for him in a different sort of way. The stars brought him clarity; the folding brought him peace.

When his folding was finished and his tea was gone, Kyungsoo carried his mug back into the kitchen. His mother smiled fondly at him over her own tea, though there was a weariness in her eyes she'd stopped hiding from him a long time ago. Or maybe he was just too old now for her to be able to. He leaned in carefully to kiss her cheek. "Goodnight, Mom."

"Goodnight," she said softly, and Kyungsoo realized he'd probably walked in on something he didn't want to interrupt. "Remember to say goodnight to your father."

"Yes, Mom."

Just before he pulled away, she reached a hand out to lay over his. Her soft palm was very warm, as always, from the way she kept her hands curled around her mug. "Bundle up more next time you go out, all right?"

Kyungsoo smiled carefully, and nodded. "I will, Mom."

Without another word, she let go of his hand, and patted his arm to get him moving again. Kyungsoo only lingered a moment longer to make sure she'd be all right before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Then, freshly washed, he made his way down the hall, ducking into his bedroom for the stars he'd left on the desk.

Kyungsoo reached into the single drawer on the small table to take out a lighter, and gingerly lifted what was left of the incense to light it. He made a mental note to pick up more tomorrow on his way back from the market. There was a cup of hot tea still steaming beside a plate of rice cakes. On the opposite side of the table sat a jar half full of paper stars. He lifted it and delicately uncorked it, adding the new stars one by one.

 _Watch over him, as he watches over us,_ he told them. _Light his way and keep him warm._

"Goodnight, Dad."

===

Kyungsoo blinked against the frigid January wind and the sun reflecting brightly off the snow. He was definitely not blinking back tears. There were too many people brushing past them, in a hurry to get from outside to in, to get out of the wind Sehun had dragged them out into for _this_. "You're tired," he said, echoing Sehun.

"I mean," Sehun said, licking his lips and avoiding eye contact by watching a mother struggle to keep her small daughter away from the dirty snow banks lining the sidewalk. "It's been eight months. We still have a lot to look forward to in life."

Kyungsoo waited until the mother and daughter were well out of earshot before saying, "You're breaking up with me because you're _tired_."

"Maybe tired was the wrong word."

"Tired was _absolutely_ the wrong word."

A silence fell over them, colder than wind. Kyungsoo continued to watch as Sehun pointedly looked everywhere but at him, as if he might lose his nerve if he did. There were a lot of questions he wanted to ask, but there was no point in asking and he knew that. He got the impression that Sehun had made this decision a long time ago, but had only gotten the confidence to say it now. He could have picked a warmer venue. "Thanks for at least waiting until after my birthday," Kyungsoo said.

"Sure."

Kyungsoo scoffed and Sehun looked slightly more uncomfortable than before. "Get some rest." Despite the way he wanted to reach out and pat him on the shoulder—and, truly, wanted to sneak one last kiss despite the way his whole body trembled more with upset than for warmth—Kyungsoo didn't touch Sehun at all. He didn't dare to because it would hurt even worse, because this wasn't the kind of privacy this moment deserved, that _they_ deserved. Maybe it was the privacy Sehun was tired of...but what other choice did they have? Instead of making a scene and embarrassing them both in a way he'd so carefully avoided for all of this time, Kyungsoo only turned and made sure he was the first to walk away.

 

 

It wasn't until much later, after darkness had fallen and Kyungsoo had exhausted most of his energy on an essay, that he finally broke. There was no fanfare, hardly even any build-up, just one tear and then another and another...

He wished that his father's story was true, that stars did listen and show compassion, pity. They granted wishes so rarely, but then so did humans. At least a star only knew how to be selfless. And at least a star, constant energy and motion, wouldn't leave because it was _tired_.

Once his face had dried and he thought his eyes might not be quite so reddened, he went to his wardrobe to dig out a sweater and an extra pair of socks. He wasn't going to the balcony tonight, though. He didn't want to risk going through the kitchen, of rousing his mother's suspicions any more than he had when he'd come home, still fuming. It occurred to him as he slipped out the front door and zipped up his coat that it might only be worse for him to disappear this way, but at least he wouldn't have to worry about being questioned until he decided to come back. Yet when he got to the roof, he wasn't alone.

"Oh," said the stranger. His eyes were bright, shining wetly even in the dark. He was bundled in a lumpy coat, and a long scarf, his face mostly hidden beneath it, muffling his voice when he added, "Hello."

"Sorry," Kyungsoo murmured, and quickly turned back to the door that had led him into this mess.

"Wait!" Kyungsoo froze in surprise, and by the time he could finally get his hand to turn the handle, the stranger's hand was on his arm, long fingers curling around his wrist as if they belonged there. "Come join me."

"That's...all right."

"No, really!" Before Kyungsoo could even think to protest further, the stranger's hand had moved down to his own. It was soft and impossibly warm as it closed around Kyungsoo's hand, like his mother's as she sipped her tea. It was precisely enough to lure him into following this person back to where he'd been standing, right in the center of the roof. "It's better with company," he said, and craned his neck back up to the stars, smiling.

Kyungsoo hesitated, looking between the person's face and the light grip he held on him. "I wouldn't know," he said at last, softly, carefully.

"They're so bright tonight," the stranger said, like he hadn't even heard him.

"Look," Kyungsoo started, lifting his arm as if to pull it away. Although the grip didn't tighten, he couldn't quite bring himself to break the flimsy bond.

"Baekhyun." Turning his gaze back onto Kyungsoo, he smiled brighter than ever and said, "My name is Baekhyun."

"Look, Baekhyun," Kyungsoo tried again. "This...this isn't the sort of thing I share with people."

"Why not? It's so beautiful, why wouldn't you want to show everyone?"

By now, the mystery and novelty had worn off, and a mild panic was beginning to settle in. The only thing that continue to ward off suspicion that Baekhyun was any kind of a danger, ironically, was the warm comfort of his hand. "Because the person I used to share it with isn't here anymore."

Baekhyun seemed to consider that for a moment, the corners of his mouth finally drooping. Whether in thought or sympathy, Kyungsoo wasn't sure, but they made him equally uncomfortable. "Sure he is," Baekhyun said, lifting their hands to point up at the sky. "Right there."

Kyungsoo wasn't looking at the sky, though, and hardly paid attention to the subtle way Baekhyun slipped his hand all but into his own. He was too busy taking in the way Baekhyun squinted one eye shut as he mapped out the right place to point, and the way his smile brightened again when he felt he'd found the right answer. Kyungsoo didn't have the words to ask why he'd said "he" or what kind of trick he was trying to pull—if he was trying to be cute, or too-friendly, or if he was just one of those people who could size someone up in seconds. Right in that moment, Kyungsoo wished he could be one of those people so he could know anything at all about Baekhyun except the way that warm hand was everything he didn't know he needed tonight.

"My name is Kyungsoo." He could swear the look on Baekhyun's face as he glanced over in acknowledgement was a look of _I know._

===

It was much warmer than Kyungsoo would have expected it to be laying on concrete in the middle of January. The blanket underneath them helped, but nowhere near as much as the touch of Baekhyun's skin. It had become apparent after that first night that Baekhyun wanted nothing more than to hold his hand, and once Kyungsoo had let him, it had been an impossible thing to take back. The funny thing was, though, that Kyungsoo found he didn't necessarily _want_ to take it back.

"What's that one?"

"I'm really not as good at this as my dad was," Kyungsoo said, uncertainty tinged with a mild amusement at Baekhyun's childishness. It was something he'd grown tired of in Sehun after the first few months, but it manifested differently with Baekhyun. It wasn't all whining and indifference and petulance. Baekhyun was simple, with open curiosity and the kind of endless energy that brightened those around him instead of wearing them out.

"Let's call her..."

"Her?"

"What, you think that's a man?"

"Baekhyun, they're _stars_ ," Kyungsoo said with a laugh.

"Even dogs are male or female."

"Well, yes, but..."

"But what?"

Kyungsoo looked over at Baekhyun, a half-smile playing on his lips. "What's her name?"

For a brief moment, Kyungsoo thought Baekhyun was going to kiss him. The way that he paused and his eyes read his face, sizing up the situation, were the perfect set-up. Instead, he only said, "Minjin." His free hand darted up to point to the star beside "Minjin" and he added, "And that's her sister, Minseon."

"Do they have any other siblings?" Kyungsoo asked, another breathless laugh escaping him in a cloud of vapor.

"It was just the two of them. Twins. That's why they're so close together."

"I see."

"They're lucky, you know. Most of the others aren't so close, in distance or to each other."

Kyungsoo quirked an eyebrow and turned to Baekhyun again. The amusement gone, he was all curiosity now, wondering where exactly this was going. In a way, he reminded Kyungsoo of his father: all carefree imagination. This didn't sound quite like his father's storytelling, though. Baekhyun wasn't convincing because he wanted you to believe it. He seemed more to be telling it because he believed it himself. "What do you mean?"

"Neighbors up there aren't like neighbors down here. Everyone is so far apart, so self-absorbed, that no one has time or even wants to talk to or help anyone else."

"...My father always told me that stars were the best listeners."

"To humans. Stars don't listen to each other." The smile was slowly fading from Baekhyun's face. "Sometimes they don't even listen to humans."

The longer he spoke, the more bothered he became, and the lighter his grip on Kyungsoo. With a small squeeze to his hand, Kyungsoo rolled over to snuggle in a little closer. "If I were a star, I'd always listen to you." Baekhyun snorted, but shifted to let Kyungsoo's head come to rest on his shoulder. Even through his coat, Baekhyun seemed to radiate heat, and Kyungsoo let his eyes fall shut. "I would. Even your silly stories about star twins."

"I would listen to you, too," Baekhyun said softly, his mouth nuzzled into Kyungsoo's hair. Kyungsoo hoped for a kiss that never came, but he thought that was probably for the best. After all, it hadn't even been a week since they'd met.

===

A loud clearing of a throat startled Kyungsoo, and it was a near-miss between his finger and the knife in his other hand. His frustration was extinguished immediately when he turned to see Baekhyun standing there, grinning, though the sight of him did get his heart racing—for a lot of the wrong reasons. "I finally found you," Baekhyun said, all triumph.

"Found me?" Kyungsoo went back to slicing the roll of kimbap he was making. One more to finish the order, and then, after delivery, time to go home at last.

"You didn't come home after school, and your mother told me you must have work today."

"...You talked to my mother?"

Ignoring the question, Baekhyun crept up behind Kyungsoo, peering over his shoulder. "What did you put in that roll? Are there cucumbers?"

"Why did you talk to my mother?"

"If there are no cucumbers, can I have a piece?"

" _No_. It's for a customer. Why did you talk to my mother?"

"To find out where you were," Baekhyun said. Kyungsoo caught his hand before it could even try to steal the piece it was aiming for.

"New friend, Kyungsoo?"

Feeling his face heat up, Kyungsoo quickly released Baekhyun's hand before shooing him away. Then he was over to the sink to wash his hands. "Jung-nim, Baekhyun. Baekhyun, my esteemed manager and gracious employer, Jung Sooyeon." As he reached for a towel he added, "She doesn't like cucumbers either."

"A man after my own heart." Baekhyun beamed, but Kyungsoo was still too worried, brow furrowed and corners of his mouth curled down. "How's the order coming?"

"Just one more roll."

"I'll tell you what," Sooyeon said, approaching the work station and giving the pair of them a look that made Kyungsoo's heart leap into his throat. "Why don't you head out early and I'll finish this up?"

"It's all right. We don't—" Baekhyun started

"Thank you, Jung-nim," Kyungsoo butted in, shooting a hard look to Baekhyun, who thankfully shut his mouth immediately. With a bow, he added, "I'll make it up to you."

"I know you will~" Sooyeon sing-songed as Kyungsoo led the way out the door. He kept his fists balled at his sides, arms swinging with more control than he felt inside. It was only to keep himself from taking Baekhyun by the wrist to drag him along behind, unwilling to risk him not following right away. Luckily for them both, he did.

Part of Kyungsoo wanted to take Baekhyun all the way back to their apartment building, but he knew the silence would get to them both too quickly. Instead, he took them around the back of the store, where at least the alley would give them some semblance of privacy. "What was so important you had to ask my mother where I was?"

"Relax," Baekhyun said, laughing. The look on his face was such genuine confusion that it caused Kyungsoo's anger to falter. "I just missed you, was all."

"You missed me."

"Yeah. I guess I got used to seeing you at a certain time, so when it got dark and you didn't show..." Confusion shifted seamlessly into a bashfulness Kyungsoo wasn't prepared for. He pressed his lips together and took a long, deep breath to steady himself in the face of Baekhyun's somewhat cute shoegazing. "She seemed glad that you'd found a new friend after what happened with Sehun."

In an instant, his rage returned. "You talked to her about Sehun?"

"No! She brought him up when we were talking."

"How did she know about Sehun?"

"More people know than you think, Kyungsoo..." The careful, casual way Baekhyun glanced toward the store made Kyungsoo's stomach drop to his toes. "They don't mind that you like—"

"I mind. I mind a lot. It's my business and you have no right—"

"I promise, Kyungsoo. I didn't say a word."

"Either way," Kyungsoo said, voice not quite the shout it wanted to be. Baekhyun shrank away from the volume anyway. "Either way, I think it's better if we stop hanging out."

"Kyungsoo—"

"Suspicions are one thing, but if you're going to make friends with my mother she'll figure it out."

"Kyungsoo, she already _knows_ and she doesn't—"

"I can't have that, Baekhyun. I need to have a life."

" _Okay_ , Kyungsoo. I won't talk to her again."

"I wish you would just—"

" _Kyungsoo!_ " He stopped, not because Baekhyun shouted but because of the tone of it. From the tremor in his voice to the look on his face, Baekhyun was nothing but terror. It stole the rest of the words from Kyungsoo, and diminished his anger into something almost like guilt. "I'm sorry. I'll go. I'll give you space, okay? I'm sorry."

Baekhyun hesitated a moment longer, as if afraid Kyungsoo would finish the thought as soon as he was sure Baekhyun was done talking. When he did turn, his gait was careful, but deliberate, and he didn't look back even once.

===

The transition back into stargazing alone was more difficult than Kyungsoo expected, and not even the scarf Baekhyun had given him could keep him as warm as those hands. Leaning against the balcony railing, he let out a long sigh and watched the resulting fog quickly dissipate into the night air. "What would you do?" he said, eyes scanning over to where Minjin and Minseon glimmered through the atmosphere. He gave another small sigh before muttering to himself, "You listen, but you can't answer."

Behind him, the glass door slid open, and his mother's voice came soft but with a note of hopefulness. "Kyungsoo-yah, your friend is here to see you." He turned with the words already on his tongue— _tell him I'm sleeping_ —but the small smile on her face stopped them. Kyungsoo swallowed them instead, and only nodded before pushing off the railing to follow her inside.

Baekhyun was sitting at the table, already cupping a mug of tea in his hands. Two others sat on either side of him, one full to the top and the other half-gone. His smile was weak, apologetic, and even held a bit of that same fear Kyungsoo had seen on his face a few days ago. Even now, it seemed, it had yet to fade completely. Kyungsoo wasn't sure what to say to him, though a part of him shared in that fear. It kept him from taking the seat beside him, or even reaching out for the tea he knew would start to defrost his tingling hands.

"I'm going to say goodnight to your father, and then I think I'll go to bed myself." His mother held a fourth cup in her hands, cradled carefully. Kyungsoo nodded absently and allowed her to kiss his cheek. He tensed at the way Baekhyun reached a hand out to graze hers, and even more so at the grateful smile she gave to him.

"Goodnight," he and Kyungsoo called in tandem, earning a slightly wider smile and a quiet _goodnight_ in return.

Only after she had disappeared down the hall did Kyungsoo look towards Baekhyun again, weary with too many questions and no answers. Even Baekhyun seemed dim, sedate in a way that didn't suit him. "Why are you here?" he asked, tired but not unkind.

"To see you," Baekhyun said with a small, guilty shrug. "I missed you."

"You can't come here."

"Please, just...hear me out? Pretend you're a star?" Baekhyun's laughter fizzled quickly, probably because Kyungsoo didn't laugh at all. He did sit, though, and finally cup his hands around a mug that burned in a way that couldn't ever compare to Baekhyun's hold on him.

"Thanks," Baekhyun said, and dropped his gaze to his tea. "Someone told me once that the reason people believe wishing on stars doesn't work is because it happens so rarely. You need special conditions for it to happen. The star and the person need to have the same wish." He paused, seemingly for effect with the careful way he sipped his tea, but Kyungsoo didn't interrupt. "But why would a star want the same thing as a person? They live completely different lives in completely different places...stars don't need jobs or money, they can't have children... And then I wondered, 'What if a star could fall in love?'"

The abrupt way Baekhyun caught his gaze startled Kyungsoo. Of course, it wasn't anything he'd considered before. His father's story had made perfect sense: stars listened, they chose, they died. Free will didn't have to come with emotions. Yet the way Baekhyun talked about stars, even now, held that same sort of knowing in it that his father's stories never had. Kyungsoo shifted in his seat, and finally took his first sip of tea. "So you think if a star and a human love each other...?"

Baekhyun shook his head. "I'm saying that, if you love someone, wouldn't you wish for their happiness?"

Slowly, Kyungsoo nodded. "Because seeing them succeed would feel like your own success."

"Right." Baekhyun wet his lips. He seemed to want to say more, but he didn't right away and took another drink of his tea.

"What does that have to do with us?"

The smile that tugged at Baekhyun's mouth at the word "us" was unmistakable. He hid it before he spoke again. "What did you want to ask the stars the night you and Sehun broke up?"

 _That_ threw Kyungsoo for a loop so hard he felt a bit winded. For several moments he stared at Baekhyun, that long-abandoned suspicion of him creeping back into his mind. He'd let a stranger into his life, into his _home_ , faster than he'd ever let anyone in. Not even Sehun. "I wished I could meet someone like a star." He took in a breath and held it. Fear had crept back into Baekhyun's face at the word "wish," but now he appeared oddly relieved. "Not just someone. Someone special."

"Someone who would love you," Baekhyun said, clarifying where Kyungsoo didn't dare. But now that the words were out, he reluctantly nodded.

"After eight months ended in 'I'm tired' I didn't want another person. I didn't want to go through that again. I wanted someone who would understand how to balance things, how to..."

"How to listen, not just talk. Give, not just take."

Kyungsoo gave a small laugh of relief and a wry smile. "There's a limit to listening and giving, too."

"I know," Baekhyun said, his own smile much more bashful. "But I'm working on it."

If he'd wanted to deny the obvious before, it felt a little impossible after such a blatant confession. Of course, it hadn't been in so many words, but there was only one way for Kyungsoo to interpret that kind of a comment. "Baekhyun—"

"Come outside with me? Please?" But just like that first night, he didn't wait for an answer, and took Kyungsoo by the wrist. The hot tea had made his hands practically scorching, and Kyungsoo could feel it warming him through in a way the drink hadn't. It didn't assuage his fears, though, about what he was getting himself into, or what he was being taken outside for exactly. The quiet glide of the door in its frame was more than one door opening, but the only one Kyungsoo trusted he could close again.

For several minutes, Baekhyun said nothing, his eyes searching the sky and his face showing increasing worry. "What's wrong?"

"I can't find him."

"Find who?"

Baekhyun hesitated, then slipped his hand from Kyungsoo's wrist down to his hand. It was Kyungsoo, though, who made the move to lace their fingers. "I can't find your father."

That very first night, and every night after, with his eyes and smile shining at him like a beam in the darkness, a part of Kyungsoo had believed every word that fell from his mouth about stars. Tonight, that part still believed, but the rest of him didn't want to because he knew what it meant.

"I wanted to thank him."

"...Thank him?"

"For always listening to me, too." As Kyungsoo stared at Baekhyun in disbelief and a bit of wonder, he got to watch realization brighten his face like the sun rising at dawn. "Oh." And again, this time with a small, somewhat sad smile, "Oh."

"What?"

"Your mother."

"What about her?"

Just then, Baekhyun's free hand moved up to cup Kyungsoo's face. Between that and the surprise of it, he stayed in place just long enough for Baekhyun's kiss to land square on his mouth, wet, and as warm as his hands. "I'll tell you in the morning."


End file.
